The Day I Fell Off the Great Wall

Download:

Beijing_Adventure.mp3

If you haven't heard the FIRST episode (Shipwrecked in Shenzhen), please click here to listen to that first.

Episode Transcript

(the actual episode may be slightly different)

Last time on Star Radio

Welcome to a brand new episode of Star Radio!

Me: I feel like I've been on this train for hours now. But when I look at my watch I realize the train only left the station 20 minutes ago. It's going to be a long night.

I don't have a bed. I wanted to have one but a lady in front of me in Shenzhen took the last bed. I guess I'm lucky that I even got a seat.

All around me, people are having fun. Everyone except for me. Across the aisle, some people are playing Majiang. Behind me a young couple is watching the movie the Titanic. I smile to myself. I was on the titanic earlier in the day.

 Cat: Ni hao

Me: I think the girl beside me just said something to me. I'm not sure. But just in case, I better say something back.

Me: Ni Hao

Cat: Ni shi na guo ren?

Me: Yep. She was talking to me. Time to try a little Chinese on her.

Me: Wo shi meigouren. Ni ne? I want to kick myself. What a stupid question! Of course she's Chinese!

Cat: Wo shi zhong guo ren.

Me: See what I mean?

Me: I think I've used all the Chinese that I know. Time to ask her an important question.

Me: Do you speak English?

Cat: Yes I can.

Me: Well why didn't you speak English to me in the first place?

Cat: I was too shy.

Me: Her next question caught me by surprise.

Cat: Would you like to have an egg?

Me: It was nice of her to offer me an egg but when I looked at it, it didn't look like any egg that I had ever seen before.

Me: That egg looks like it's a thousand years old. Are you sure I can eat it?

Cat: That's exactly what it is. It's a thousand-year-old egg!

 Me: While I'm eating the ancient egg I learn that my new friend is a student from Guangdong province who is going to the same place I am. Her English is very good.

Me: Finally around midnight, the lights are dimmed and it looks like it's time to sleep. I try to make my chair go back but it doesn't work. I'll have to sleep like this all night. Using my arm as a pillow, I fall asleep as the train carries me through the night to my destination.

Me: The next morning I awaken to the sound if music. It starts faint at first but grows louder with every passing minute. And then the train comes to a stop. I grab by bags and step off the train. A choir is singing...but not for me. Someone important must have been on that train. I'm hungry, I'm tired, I probably need a shower. But none of those things matter! I'm in Beijing! And there's one place I need to go right away.

Me: 995,996,997,998,999,1000. Wow. I finally made it. I'm standing on top of the Great Wall! I didn't want to walk all the way up here. There are easier ways to get up...but you know what Chairman Mao said, He who does not reach the Great Wall is not a true man.

Me: Wow. So many people up here. It's hard to find a place to stand. I suddenly realize that I'm being pushed...pushed towards the edge of the Great Wall...hey...hey...watch it...what are you doing....oh no.... As I lay there on the ground wondering if I'm still alive, I can see people up there looking at me and laughing.

Man from up top: Need a rope down there?

Me: A rope? What...did I fall into a river? I stand up and brush myself off. I shake a few body parts ... Nope nothings broken. That's good. I take one last look at the great wall before I get on a bus back to the city. I was only on top for a few seconds but it was a great feeling.

Me: By the time I get back to the city, it's dinner time. What I going to eat? Quack quack. That's a no brainer. I love Beijing duck. Except for the price. 200 rmb? Tai GUI le! That night I head back to my hotel. It's been another long day and I ready to hit the sack. Tomorrow I'll do some more sightseeing. Beijing is a big city. Lots to see and do. But I'm ready to get out of here. I want to get out of the city. Somewhere remote. Somewhere in nature. I'll get out of Beijing tomorrow night. So far, I've been shipwrecked in ShenZhen and I've fallen off the Great Wall but I've had some good experiences too. That's just life isn't it? Special thanks to Cat my former student from the legendary class 2 for lending her voice to this episode. And than you for listening to star radio. For more episodes and to improve your englsh visit www.chataboutchina.com. Adios amigos

Music from:http://derekaudette.ottawaarts.com/music_bumper.php